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COD LIVER OIL

 


What Did Yogi Berra, Ernie Banks & Cod Liver Oil Have In Common?

The year was 1953. Yogi Berra suddenly began having trouble at the bat. The Yankees didn't send for a batting coach. Yogi's swing was not something that can be taught, therefore it couldn't be corrected. There isn't a batting coach alive who can correct a wing that frequently knocks wild pitches out of the park.

It took Yankee manager Casey Stengel to come up with the culprit DIET! Anyone who ate the things Yogi Berra did should have trouble with the curve ball sooner or later, Casey believed. People forgot that Casey had studied dentistry and knew that sugar ruined more good ball players and booze.

Casey called in nutritionist Dale Alexander, a man whose surest diagnostic tool was the handshake. Most doctors peer down the throat or check the eyes. Dale Alexander would check the grip. If the hand is cold, the rest of you soon might be as well. Yogi's hands were not only cold, they were scaly. It was like shaking hands with a fish. Yogi had eczema. "He couldn't grip a bat, his anxious hands itched so."

Dale Alexander soon saw the trouble. Scattered around the room were empty bottles of chocolate milk. Yogi drank it by the case. The more he drank, the drier his skin became. Pretty soon, not even gold gloves could help at the bat. Yogi was batting .220, and was itchier than a hound dog. Alexander took Yogi off the chocolate milk and onto Cod Liver Oil.

As the world knows by now, Dale Alexander's Cod Liver Oil has helped people with all sorts of conditions, from the common cold to falling hair, from arthritis to arteriosclerosis. In any case, it cured Yogi's batting average. He ended up the season at .296 and not a scratch on him. When Ernie Banks of the Chicago Cubs had such arthritic knees he could barely stand in the coaching box, Dale Alexander was summoned by Banks' friend, Billy Williams.

Banks' trouble was tea. He drank vats of it, iced and hot. The tannin in tea is used in curing leather, Alexander remarked, to give you an idea how powerful its action is on tissue. Once again, it was Cod Liver Oil to the rescue. "I had him well in 60 days," boasted Alexander.

He had met Banks in the Dodger clubhouse and says he has been in shock ever since. "The clubhouse was a dietary disaster," he shuddered. "Chocolate bars everywhere. Ballplayers should never be permitted near chocolate bars." Chocolate, or any other sticky sweet substance, he says, coats the throat and makes it host to a variety of germs.

If you are on Mrs. Hsu's Internal Cleansing Program you are already familiar with Dale Alexander's Cod Liver Oil, and in addition you may already have an inkling that sugar wasn't the only problem with Yogi Berra's swing,but that large amounts of milk may have had something to do with his problems.

Alexander liked to say that "Everyone needs an oil change from time to time. You need one every time your skin gets dry, your gums bleed, your joints ache, or your hands get cold." Or, he might have added, your batting average drops, your curve hands, or your throws bounce.

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What Did Yogi Berra, Ernie Banks & Cod Liver Oil Have In Common?

The year was 1953. Yogi Berra suddenly began having trouble at the bat. The Yankees didn't send for a batting coach. Read more


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