What
Did Yogi Berra, Ernie Banks & Cod Liver Oil Have In
Common?
The
year was 1953. Yogi Berra suddenly began having trouble
at the bat. The Yankees didn't send for a batting coach.
Yogi's swing was not something that can be taught,
therefore it couldn't be corrected. There isn't a batting
coach alive who can correct a wing that frequently knocks
wild pitches out of the park.
It
took Yankee manager Casey Stengel to come up with the culprit
DIET! Anyone who ate the things Yogi Berra
did should have trouble with the curve ball sooner or later,
Casey believed. People forgot that Casey had studied dentistry
and knew that sugar ruined more good ball players and booze.
Casey
called in nutritionist Dale Alexander, a man whose surest
diagnostic tool was the handshake. Most doctors peer down
the throat or check the eyes. Dale Alexander would check
the grip. If the hand is cold, the rest of you soon might
be as well. Yogi's hands were not only cold, they were scaly.
It was like shaking hands with a fish. Yogi had eczema.
"He couldn't grip a bat, his anxious hands itched so."
Dale
Alexander soon saw the trouble. Scattered around the room
were empty bottles of chocolate milk. Yogi drank it by the
case. The more he drank, the drier his skin became. Pretty
soon, not even gold gloves could help at the bat. Yogi was
batting .220, and was itchier than a hound dog. Alexander
took Yogi off the chocolate milk and onto Cod Liver Oil.
As
the world knows by now, Dale Alexander's Cod Liver Oil has
helped people with all sorts of conditions, from the common
cold to falling hair, from arthritis to arteriosclerosis.
In any case, it cured Yogi's batting average. He ended up
the season at .296 and not a scratch on him. When Ernie
Banks of the Chicago Cubs had such arthritic knees he could
barely stand in the coaching box, Dale Alexander was summoned
by Banks' friend, Billy Williams.
Banks'
trouble was tea. He drank vats of it, iced and hot. The
tannin in tea is used in curing leather, Alexander remarked,
to give you an idea how powerful its action is on tissue.
Once again, it was Cod Liver Oil to the rescue. "I
had him well in 60 days," boasted Alexander.
He
had met Banks in the Dodger clubhouse and says he has been
in shock ever since. "The clubhouse was a dietary disaster,"
he shuddered. "Chocolate bars everywhere. Ballplayers
should never be permitted near chocolate bars." Chocolate,
or any other sticky sweet substance, he says, coats the
throat and makes it host to a variety of germs.
If
you are on Mrs. Hsu's Internal Cleansing Program you are
already familiar with Dale Alexander's Cod Liver Oil, and
in addition you may already have an inkling that sugar wasn't
the only problem with Yogi Berra's swing,but that large
amounts of milk may have had something to do with his problems.
Alexander
liked to say that "Everyone needs an oil change from
time to time. You need one every time your skin gets dry,
your gums bleed, your joints ache, or your hands get cold."
Or, he might have added, your batting average drops, your
curve hands, or your throws bounce.
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| Mint
12 oz |
Orange
12 oz |
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Sale! 20%
$7.96 |
Sale! 20%
$7.96 |
Reg
$9.95
| Reg
$9.95
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